A wide variety of aches and pains all throughout my body are growing stronger by the day, so I finally decide to see a doctor. He asks me about my symptoms. He shines a light in my eye. He asks me to open my mouth and say "ah". Then he smiles, and says, "Well, you seem to be in perfect health."

"Wait, what about all these aches and pains?" I ask.

"That should all be gone within a few days," he assures me, and escorts me out of his office.

I drive home and go to bed. I spend hours tossing and turning, trying to find some position that doesn't aggravate one or all of my maladies