So.....that happened.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

            Um...

 

 

 

It seems Blue Space channeled the Holy Ghost and vaporized our website.

 

 

Sorry.

 

So, I'm going to have to piece the rest of the site together by hand. So, uh, there was LAST WEEK'S ISSUE

 

And then there's Steve's materials, at our weekly HEY STEVE...whiiiich I think I just decided will henceforth be called
STEVE'S MATERIALS...

 

And then um.....comments?

 


COMMENTS!


  YOUR NAME:

  YOUR EMAIL:


JUST SAY SOMETHING, YOUR WORDS MAKE ME HAPPY:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do you want to spread rumors and lies about Burning Building.com?
Do you want to be a Sandwich-Board Man?
Do you want to wear a badge because you flunked Boy Scouts?

Give something back to society.
Post one of these fine BURNINGBUILDING logos on your website, blog, or Myspace profile.

 

 

 

 

Insert this HTML into your page somewhere:

<a style="text-decoration: none" href="http://www.burningbuilding.com">
<img src="http://www.burningbuilding.com/Images/burningbuildinglogo.gif"></a>

Or if you want a larger/resizable style:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Insert this HTML into your page somewhere:

<a style="text-decoration: none" href="http://www.burningbuilding.com">
<img src="http://www.burningbuilding.com/Images/burningbuildinglogolarge.gif"></a>


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now, for your Googling pleasure, the entire website in regular text....

(You probably want to ignore this...)

Hello people on the internet. I know, it's been a long time, and I apologize, but I've been so busy combating Evil that I haven't had time for anything else. Yes, me and the P.P.P (Prophet Peter Popoff, if you're not hip) have been busy fighting back the forces of Satan together. Just look at him in that photo. Doesn't he look like he's totally fighting back the forces of Satan? Anyway, since I got that first letter I showed you last issue, the P.P.P has sent me three additional letters containing tithe buckets of seriously potent preachin', prayin', and prophecyin'. I have also received...

The Five Pennies Scotch-Taped to a Piece of Paper are perhaps the most powerful of all the Artifacts of Immeasurable Power, because in addition to whatever the letter says they're supposed to do when I do whatever I'm supposed to do to unlock the wealth-gates of Heaven, the Pennies are themselves wealth! So without me or God lifting a finger or tentacle (What?) I am already five cents more prosperous! I can use this new wealth to buy my wife an anniversary gift! I can use it to buy my wife five anniversary gifts, if I budget properly! I can use it to buy my wife, if I find the right website! Oh, this is going to be wonderful. Thank you, PPP! Please note that each of these Artifacts of Immeasurable Power came with its own Letter of Immeasureable Wisdom. Although these letters are filled with sacred power, I chose not to include them here to avoid overwhelming you, the readers. But if you wish to hear the PPP's teachings, along with my awestruck commentary as I listen at his feet, you can read the full text by following the link below: LETTERS OF IMMEASURABLE WISDOM

 

Not even really an actual glove! When annointed with the included Sacred Oil of Annointance, this hand-shaped piece of 1-ply scrap cloth becames an almighty sacred bitch-slap to all your financial problems! And you can also clean spaghetti off your face with it! Note: If used for such purposes, the Flimsy Napkin-Cloth Glove of the Seraphim transubstantiates into... And the final Artifact of Immeasureable Power I have recieved from the PPP....

If you look closely, you will see yet another wonder. For apparently, High Priest Aaron's wardrobe designers wrote fluent English, and were already familiar with the Times New Roman Italics font! Praise God! Now, onto the second Artifact of Immeasurable Power....

The Holy Tablet of Eternal Revenue is without queston an Artifact of Immeasurable Power. If kept in or near my wallet, this tiny gold-color plated metal rectangle is the key to limitless riches. Believe it or not, according to the P.P.P, this tablet actually comes from the actual priestly breastplate of Israel's first High Priest, Aaron, brother of Moses. How cool is that? Shouldn't this be in a museum or something? I guess that just shows how much PPP cares for his flock! And look! It even comes with this convenient Holy Tablet of Eternal Revenue Carrying Case, for when you need to reap heavenly blessings on the go.

 

Yes, these three sacred relics sent to me by the P.P.P are going to pull me out of my "hard financial situation" and bring me into the vast wealth and prosperity that every white republican Christian deserves. Now, take off your sandals, for this is holy webspace. Yea, for I am about to unveil the Artifacts given unto me by the P.P.P. Behold!

..Well, Blue Space, let me put it this way. For a while, there were some wealthy men who were talking about funding Burning Building. This gave me great motivation to keep this website pumping. Now they are not talking about that anymore. Therefore I have lost my motivation. Therefore Burning Building's "Time Budget" has been cut substantially. Therefore Burning Building's rate of new issue publication has been cut substantially. Therefore...are you "getting me", Blue Space? Are you "picking up what I'm putting down"? Do you "understand" what I'm "saying"? You got it, friend. Rounded corners are the the opiate of the bourgeoisie. That stuff is pretty awesome isn't it? Worth every penny. What do I care about your corners, Box Man? We don't have any kids around the Burning Building, who's going to trip and gouge their eyes out on your sharp corners? No one. Very well, Blue Space. Here. Very nice, looks very nice on you. And look, you ended up with rounded corners too! Blue Space? What are you doing? What's happening?! There's some kind of massive power surge! All our HTML is burning up! Blue Space stop!!

ISAAC, DON'T YOU THINK YOU OWE YOUR READERS AN EXPLANATION FOR WHY YOU HAVEN'T OFFERED A SINGLE SCRAP OF NEW CONTENT IN ALMOST A MONTH? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, THE HIT TV SHOW "LOST"? I SUPPOSE I DO, ISAAC. IT IS A SHAME, THOUGH. WE WERE ON A ROLL THERE FOR A WHILE. AND I SUPPOSE THIS EXPLAINS WHY I DON'T HAVE ROUNDED CORNERS ANYMORE... WHAT ABOUT THAT HOLY GHOST FIRE ON ALL THE ARTIFACTS OF IMMEASUREABLE POWER? YOU CAN'T AFFORD ROUND CORNERS FOR ME BUT YOU CAN AFFORD HOLY GHOST FIRE? CAN I...CAN I GET SOME HOLY GHOST FIRE? AHH... ....... AND BEHOLD, THERE AROSE A SOUND LIKE MANY THUNDERS... AND I LOOKED UPON THE EARTH AND ALL WAS EVIL AND VERILY I SAY TO THEE THAT THE DAY IS COMING WHEN ALL SHALL PERISH UNDER THE SON SHALL BE SLAVE UNTO THE FATHER THE LION SHALL BE EATEN BY THE LAMB THE MOUNT TAINS SHALL MELT INTO THE SEA AND MAN SHALL CRY UNTO THE HEAVENS BUT THERE SHALL BE NO RELIEF NOW OR IN ETERNITY FOREVER AND EVER